[255] Cheat Sheet

255

Online dating is rough. That’s not my opinion, it is fact, especially for girls. In true Stephanie fashion here’s a list of things that are good and bad about online dating, and things you should do and definitely try to avoid.

 

1. You can reply to messages and still come off as totally cool, funny and sexy even though you’re in your sweats and haven’t showered today.

2. You have to assume someone you’re seeing is seeing lots of someone elses. You will now know what the girls on The Bachelor feel like.

3. You have to be comfortable enough to actually meet someone in person, unless you’d like to have a virtual relationship forever.

4. You are going to come across some weirdos. If you’re even a little bit attractive it is inevitable. At some point you are going to get a message, or two, from a 40 year-old man who wants to be your sugar daddy. Just say no…unless you’re into stuff like that.

5. You will get very good at extracting information about a person. With the hundreds of “Hey,” “Hi,” “What’s up?,” and other generic messages you will receive, you will figure out who is worth getting more information out of, and exactly how to do it.

6. Get ready to be frustrated, because it’s going to happen a lot. You’ll be chatting with someone and you’ll think it’s going great, but then after 3 dates, they stop texting you like a coward, and you’ll never hear from them again. Shit happens, learn to get over it quickly or you will be perpetually sad.

7. You’re going to go through phases where you get super optimistic and respond to lots of message, and send an abundance of winks and pokes, and then you won’t get any replies from the people you wanted to reply and it will be sad, and then you’ll take a break from online dating. Then you’ll get excited again. It’s a vicious circle. Learn to love it.

8. Don’t be one of those crazy people who thinks that after 3 dates you’re exclusive with someone. When it comes to that, you have to be super explicit and direct otherwise you’re going to be let down. (See #2 for preemptive knowledge to help with this.)

9. It’s ok to be virtually slutty. Send a bunch of messages to people who you think are cool and hopefully cute. Some will write back, and some won’t, but you’ll never know if you don’t go after it. Plus it really doesn’t hurt your chances. Match.com says guys are attracted to confidence…

10. You will learn what your boundaries are very quickly. Stick to them, and you could even go as far as to create a set of rules for yourself to follow no matter what.

11. You will have some fun. It’s not all bad, and sometimes you might find a person who is actually really cool. Just don’t be surprised if you have to fish through a bunch of freaks to find that normal human.

12. You’re bound to see someone’s profile that you know from work, or school, or whatever…block them if you don’t want them to see your profile. They’ll never know…unless they found you first.

13. Girls, if you go on dates with decent guys then chances are they’ll pay for the first couple dates. Enjoy the freebies because eventually they’ll run out, and you’ll start going halfsies on everything. Booooo.

 

I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Good luck, and don’t let anyone murder you!

– Stephanie

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