[#blessed]

#blessed

This past weekend was a wonderfully crazy one.

 

Short version:

-I met Peter’s kids.

-And spent Easter with his family.

 

Long version:

As I walked up to Peter’s house late Saturday morning, I started getting nervous again. I thought I had shaken all my jitters and worries, but apparently that wasn’t the case. What kind of questions are they going to ask me? How is this supposed to work with him if they don’t like me? What if I’m not ready to meet them? My hands were instantly sweaty as I knocked on the door, but within 30 seconds all the uneasiness went away. His daughter, who’s 4.5, told me she wanted me to sit with her in the recliner until we left. I think I was trying to prepare for meeting them by thinking of it as an interview with serious questions and such, when really, kids that age just want someone to play with and pay attention to them.

It probably helped that his kids are both really well behaved, respectful, and we had stuff planned. Kids are funny though, they don’t understand having a need to be accepted and liked, and therefor they just accept and like everyone. Peter says they really like me, and I’m not trying to be cynical, but I can’t help but think that they like everyone. He assures me though that they really like me. Before they went to bed, they asked, “Miss Stephanie, are we going to see you tomorrow?!” And that’s when I about died.

Honestly, in my perfectly planned out life plan I didn’t see any kids in my life until I was at least 30. I want them, but I didn’t think I’d have them until later on, but life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls that really end up being underhand pitches. (You like that baseball analogy?) Peter was an unexpected surprise that has turned into this wonderful thing I can’t imagine being without, and he just happens to come with two adorable, sweet humans. He told me before our second date, which was the day after the first, that he had two kids. At that point I already had such a strong connection with him that even though they were eminent, I didn’t have any worries or insecurities about the things that would go along with that in the future, which I saw with him before that second date. The heart is an amazing thing, just when you think it’s as full as you’d ever need it to be, it makes room for more, and I’m happy to fill it.

 

Sunday morning started early, but I showed up with coffee, so everything was fine. The four of us drove to Everett, where Peter’s parents live, and went to church. Lunch was lovely, and I was appreciative of all the veg friendly foods available for me. (Peter’s mom even made the potato casserole without cream of chicken!) After lunch we just sat around visiting, talking about Jean’s book, my trip to Dubai, and a multitude of other things. I don’t think any of us really wanted to leave, but Peter had to get the kids back to their mom, so we had to go.

For me, it’s never been about the holiday, but more about the people you get to see and spend time with. Holidays without my family have been somewhat emotional for me the last year or so; I’m still figuring out how to come to terms with this, because, in the long run, I probably won’t be moving back to Syracuse. Family is one of the things that I hold dearest, and to be able to have found someone who understands that, and is the same way, is immeasurably amazing. It’s an incredible feeling finally realizing that you’ve made yourself a new home.

 

– S

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[304] Whoremone Monday

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I honestly had one of the worst days that I can remember…ever. It started out normally, and I made it to work without incident even though it was raining and we all know that most of Washington state drivers can’t drive in the rain. I made banana chocolate chip walnut muffins yesterday, so I brought some into work to share, and to eat for breakfast. I even managed to knock out work to finish up three projects before a meeting at 11, but after that meeting everything went downhill. I won’t go into specifics, but I basically got emotionally and work ass raped for the rest of the day. It wasn’t at all fun and I couldn’t wait to leave except that I had to stay late to finish something that was due at the end of the day, which means I hit traffic on the way home and instead of it taking me 30 minutes, it took an hour to get 13 miles. Fuck that shit.

I made an emergency stop at the grocery story, and what I came out with was of such a weird variety I’m still not sure how I feel about it: herbed Beecher’s cheese curds, grapes, apples, yogurt, chocolate milk, Ben and Jerry’s peanut butter cup ice cream, salmon, waffle fries, and a bottle of wine. And even though I was crying a little uncontrollably as I drove home from the store, after eating some of the cheese curds, a huge heap of waffle fries with ketchup, and a peanut butter cup chocolate milk…shake, everything seems ok now. Winning my fantasy game helped, I’m sure, and not having to work tomorrow is a huge factor, but it still amazes me how much of an influence food has over my mood. I’m lucky I’m not a heifer.

 

– Stephanie

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[221] Down Up Down

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You know when your mood just feels off, and all you want to do is reset and start fresh? I was able to reset, and it came in the form of an hour long phone chat with my mom. I get these waves of homesickness that seem to come out of nowhere. It’s not a traditional homesickness, because I feel like Seattle is my home now, but I miss the people that made Syracuse my home.

My mom always knows what to say to calm me down and remind me how important this chapter in my life is, plus she’s really good at sending me snail mail and packages. My dad knows exactly when to send me an email that makes me tear up with just a few words. I’m sure Jacob would know when I need a cuddle sesh if he wasn’t a dog. And my sister sends me Snapchats that make me snort while I’m laughing.  I’ve got some pretty kickass people in my life.

 

– Stephanie

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