[#blessed]

#blessed

This past weekend was a wonderfully crazy one.

 

Short version:

-I met Peter’s kids.

-And spent Easter with his family.

 

Long version:

As I walked up to Peter’s house late Saturday morning, I started getting nervous again. I thought I had shaken all my jitters and worries, but apparently that wasn’t the case. What kind of questions are they going to ask me? How is this supposed to work with him if they don’t like me? What if I’m not ready to meet them? My hands were instantly sweaty as I knocked on the door, but within 30 seconds all the uneasiness went away. His daughter, who’s 4.5, told me she wanted me to sit with her in the recliner until we left. I think I was trying to prepare for meeting them by thinking of it as an interview with serious questions and such, when really, kids that age just want someone to play with and pay attention to them.

It probably helped that his kids are both really well behaved, respectful, and we had stuff planned. Kids are funny though, they don’t understand having a need to be accepted and liked, and therefor they just accept and like everyone. Peter says they really like me, and I’m not trying to be cynical, but I can’t help but think that they like everyone. He assures me though that they really like me. Before they went to bed, they asked, “Miss Stephanie, are we going to see you tomorrow?!” And that’s when I about died.

Honestly, in my perfectly planned out life plan I didn’t see any kids in my life until I was at least 30. I want them, but I didn’t think I’d have them until later on, but life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls that really end up being underhand pitches. (You like that baseball analogy?) Peter was an unexpected surprise that has turned into this wonderful thing I can’t imagine being without, and he just happens to come with two adorable, sweet humans. He told me before our second date, which was the day after the first, that he had two kids. At that point I already had such a strong connection with him that even though they were eminent, I didn’t have any worries or insecurities about the things that would go along with that in the future, which I saw with him before that second date. The heart is an amazing thing, just when you think it’s as full as you’d ever need it to be, it makes room for more, and I’m happy to fill it.

 

Sunday morning started early, but I showed up with coffee, so everything was fine. The four of us drove to Everett, where Peter’s parents live, and went to church. Lunch was lovely, and I was appreciative of all the veg friendly foods available for me. (Peter’s mom even made the potato casserole without cream of chicken!) After lunch we just sat around visiting, talking about Jean’s book, my trip to Dubai, and a multitude of other things. I don’t think any of us really wanted to leave, but Peter had to get the kids back to their mom, so we had to go.

For me, it’s never been about the holiday, but more about the people you get to see and spend time with. Holidays without my family have been somewhat emotional for me the last year or so; I’m still figuring out how to come to terms with this, because, in the long run, I probably won’t be moving back to Syracuse. Family is one of the things that I hold dearest, and to be able to have found someone who understands that, and is the same way, is immeasurably amazing. It’s an incredible feeling finally realizing that you’ve made yourself a new home.

 

– S

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[Spring Always Brings New Things]

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You know how I met Mr. Sullivan’s family last weekend? Well, the reason it’s taken me almost a full week to update you isn’t because it didn’t go well; work has been a little nuts this week with some unexpected surprises. But back to The Sullivans.

For starters, I’m practically a midget compared to all of them. Peter’s mom is the shortest at 5’10”, so, yeah. I think I have a big enough personality to make up in the height department, though. Obviously I was a little nervous, I mean, it’s not everyday that you meet your boyfriend’s family, and there are a lot of them: 4 brothers and a sister, plus his parents. I’ve got all the names down and general descriptions of what they do, so I think I’m in a pretty good spot.

Anyway, dinner was lovely and I had so much fun getting to know his family. Their dynamic is kind of amazing, and it’s not something that you run into often. I was definitely reminded of the way that I am with my family, and somehow that made me feel more comfortable and actually less like I wasn’t in on an inside joke. When it was time to go I didn’t really want to leave. I’m excited to get to know them all better, and let them see who I am.

Work, however, was not as easy this week. Without getting into too many details, I’ve been splitting my time between two totally different projects. Project A has been a consistent thing since October, but it’s not really what I had in mind for my future work aspirations. Project B is an up and coming thing that revved up only a month or two ago, but it’s something I would love to do more with. Sorta vague, I know. Sorry. But the good news is that my wish came true, albeit rather abruptly, and I’ll no longer be working on Project A, as of today, at all!

Also, I took an Intro to Yoga workshop last Saturday which inspired me to give yoga the good ‘ol college try. So, I’m taking my very first, actual, hot yoga class tomorrow morning. It helps that someone from work is doing it too; forces me to be a touch more accountable. (I’m currently pounding a Nalgene bottle of water so I don’t die.)

And on that note, I’m off to bed. Here’s a little something I found and felt like sharing: It’s a song, listen to it.

 

– S

 

ALSO, my trip to Dubai is in 3 weeks O_O ohmygod am I excited.

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[Practice Makes Perfect]

 

practice-makes-perfect

This floral arrangement may have been practice for the one I’ll be bringing to my boyfriend’s mom, who I will be meeting this weekend along with his dad, sister, and one of 3 brothers I haven’t met yet.

It might be a little weird, but I’m excited-nervous and practicing and planning helps calm me down. Plus now I get my own kickass flowers to bring to work and brighten up my windowless office. Really, it’s a win-win.

 

– S

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[325] An Army of Magnificent Miniature Muffins

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I actually cooked in my apartment for the first time today; I made vegetarian chili with sweet potato and quinoa. Then, as I was watching Monday Night Football, I nervous baked. See, I thought I had to win my fantasy football game this week in order to make it into the playoffs when really I just needed one of the guys in my division to lose, AND since I have way more points than him I’d get to go to the playoffs. Boom. *Pats self on back*

Clearly I don’t have any self-esteem issues.

 

– Stephanie

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[315] It’s Getting Really Real

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I packed up the majority of what was left at my aunt and uncle’s, and brought it to my apartment to upack. Now all that’s left are clothes, toiletries, and a couple lamps.

I’m having this inner battle about moving. Living with my aunt and uncle has been amazing, and I wouldn’t have been able to make my move across the country without them. Plus this transition was so much easier having them around. I’m even going to miss waking up to Christian’s trains rolling across the floor or his pots and pans concert, but I think I’m ready to live on my own, and really, it’s the first time. With my other apartments in Syracuse, I had roommates, and I was not far from my family. This time around I won’t have roommates, I’m in a newish city, and my family is 3,000 miles away. I’m nervous. I’ve been having a blast buying furniture and stuff for my apartment but now that I’m actually going to be living in it full time, there’s this level of unknown and newness that freaks me out a little bit.

I’m just being a big baby…I know I’ll be just fine.

 

– Stephanie

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[281] Sorry I’ve Been Acting Cray Cray

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Ladies, how do we let guys turn us into crazy, weakened knees, helpless girls?

I hate it. I always feel like I’m in such control, especially when it comes to dating, because apparently it’s difficult for me to find someone that really gets me excited and nervous about dating. So, when I do come across someone that completely baffles and takes me by surprise, I get taken to this place where I’ll do practically anything to spend more time with them. I transform from a confident, funny, beautiful, smart woman into a sort of neurotic, overanalyzing, worried he doesn’t like me anymore because he hasn’t texted me back…girl.

It takes me back to high school when I didn’t know who I was or how amazing I could be. A time when I was ok with letting guys, and people in general, walk all over me and do whatever they wanted. I like to think that I’m fairly modest, but I know that I have a lot to offer to someone who can appreciate it. This feeling I get when I meet someone I deem interesting enough to get to know, makes me feel small and helpless. I want to put everything I have into learning about this person, but even now, after getting to know myself, there’s still this little voice in my head that makes me think they won’t ever be into me as much as I’m into them. It’s this awful, backward defense mechanism I use to protect myself, I think, but instead I just overcompensate and drive people away. So, to anyone who’s been experiencing this side of me, I’m sorry. It’s totally not me, and it’s something I’m continuously working on, but old habits die hard.

– Stephanie

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