[324] Kick Ass Bitches


324

I watched the Seahawks games with some pretty cool chicks today, and it got me thinking about the other amazing women I’ve had as role models, and mainly, my mom.

Today is her birthday so I guess she was on my mind anyway. I was a little bummed since I didn’t get to spend the day with her, but the fact that I’ll be home in 12.5 days makes it much more tolerable. I’ve gushed about my mom and the rest of my family enough times for y’all to get how much I love them, but I wanted to pay my mama a little extra attention on her birthday:

 

Mom,

I think you know how much I love you and how much I rely on you whenever I’m in need, but in case there’s any questions, this should clear it up. I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better mother and friend. I know that I was bit of a bitch when I was in high school and I’m sorry for all that bullshit I put you through. Now that I look back on that time, I can’t remember anything we ever fought about; part of me is a little sad that that time may have been wasted, but the other part is glad that we were able to get over that phase and move on to a better relationship with each other. I appreciate everything that you do for me, especially all the ways that you make me feel loved from 3,000 miles away. You’re an amazingly strong, caring, smart, beautiful, thoughtful woman and having you in my life makes me a better person.

I love you.

 

– Stephanie

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[281] Sorry I’ve Been Acting Cray Cray

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Ladies, how do we let guys turn us into crazy, weakened knees, helpless girls?

I hate it. I always feel like I’m in such control, especially when it comes to dating, because apparently it’s difficult for me to find someone that really gets me excited and nervous about dating. So, when I do come across someone that completely baffles and takes me by surprise, I get taken to this place where I’ll do practically anything to spend more time with them. I transform from a confident, funny, beautiful, smart woman into a sort of neurotic, overanalyzing, worried he doesn’t like me anymore because he hasn’t texted me back…girl.

It takes me back to high school when I didn’t know who I was or how amazing I could be. A time when I was ok with letting guys, and people in general, walk all over me and do whatever they wanted. I like to think that I’m fairly modest, but I know that I have a lot to offer to someone who can appreciate it. This feeling I get when I meet someone I deem interesting enough to get to know, makes me feel small and helpless. I want to put everything I have into learning about this person, but even now, after getting to know myself, there’s still this little voice in my head that makes me think they won’t ever be into me as much as I’m into them. It’s this awful, backward defense mechanism I use to protect myself, I think, but instead I just overcompensate and drive people away. So, to anyone who’s been experiencing this side of me, I’m sorry. It’s totally not me, and it’s something I’m continuously working on, but old habits die hard.

– Stephanie

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