[281] Sorry I’ve Been Acting Cray Cray

Ladies, how do we let guys turn us into crazy, weakened knees, helpless girls?

I hate it. I always feel like I’m in such control, especially when it comes to dating, because apparently it’s difficult for me to find someone that really gets me excited and nervous about dating. So, when I do come across someone that completely baffles and takes me by surprise, I get taken to this place where I’ll do practically anything to spend more time with them. I transform from a confident, funny, beautiful, smart woman into a sort of neurotic, overanalyzing, worried he doesn’t like me anymore because he hasn’t texted me back…girl.

It takes me back to high school when I didn’t know who I was or how amazing I could be. A time when I was ok with letting guys, and people in general, walk all over me and do whatever they wanted. I like to think that I’m fairly modest, but I know that I have a lot to offer to someone who can appreciate it. This feeling I get when I meet someone I deem interesting enough to get to know, makes me feel small and helpless. I want to put everything I have into learning about this person, but even now, after getting to know myself, there’s still this little voice in my head that makes me think they won’t ever be into me as much as I’m into them. It’s this awful, backward defense mechanism I use to protect myself, I think, but instead I just overcompensate and drive people away. So, to anyone who’s been experiencing this side of me, I’m sorry. It’s totally not me, and it’s something I’m continuously working on, but old habits die hard.

– Stephanie

[241] Currently Questioning Human Behavior

Something happened this weekend that I’m thoroughly baffled by.

I was supposed to go on a date Saturday. Everything was planned, the time and place figured out. The guy texted me late afternoon and said, “I want to be honest with you. There is a high probability that I’ll be moving to Montana in January and I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to start something with someone who could be leaving you in a couple of months.” Keep in mind, WE HADN’T EVEN MET YET. I wasn’t feeling it at that point anymore so I gave him some ditsy ass text filled with bullshit about not wanting to set myself up for failure. What I really would have loved to say was, “Thanks for giving me an out. You’ve been coming off as needy and desperate for the past week anyways and I don’t need that. Good luck with your search for love in Montana!” Sometimes I feel like guys are more confusing than girls…maybe.

 

– Stephanie

[160] Verbal Assault

This post has a touch more foul language than usual. Proceed with caution…I’m worked up.

If there’s one thing that I really love, it’s handing out a verbal beating. Some people really deserve it, and some just catch me on a bad day. I pride myself in being able to use big words that leave the other person feeling like a moron and unable to provide any kind of response, witty or not. I especially love doing this to guys who think they’re hot shit, when in reality they’re acting like shit on the bottom of a shoe. I hate being talked to like I’m just a hot piece of ass who can be swooned by a single compliment solely based on my looks. Honestly, fuck off. It’s degrading, and makes you come off as a huge douche bag. This tactic probably works on more girls than I’d like believe, but I will verbally assault you until you’re screaming uncle. Thank you internet for offering up sacrifices for me to slaughter.

 

– Stephanie

 

P.S. My back is feeling better, and work was actually really fun today!