Lately I’ve been feeling fairly indifferent about dating but I may have found someone who’s managed to get me excited about dating again, at least for a little while. He and I ended up sharing some food, drinking, and talking for 4 hours. It was rather lovely and I’m excited to see him again soon.
– Stephanie
Ladies, how do we let guys turn us into crazy, weakened knees, helpless girls?
I hate it. I always feel like I’m in such control, especially when it comes to dating, because apparently it’s difficult for me to find someone that really gets me excited and nervous about dating. So, when I do come across someone that completely baffles and takes me by surprise, I get taken to this place where I’ll do practically anything to spend more time with them. I transform from a confident, funny, beautiful, smart woman into a sort of neurotic, overanalyzing, worried he doesn’t like me anymore because he hasn’t texted me back…girl.
It takes me back to high school when I didn’t know who I was or how amazing I could be. A time when I was ok with letting guys, and people in general, walk all over me and do whatever they wanted. I like to think that I’m fairly modest, but I know that I have a lot to offer to someone who can appreciate it. This feeling I get when I meet someone I deem interesting enough to get to know, makes me feel small and helpless. I want to put everything I have into learning about this person, but even now, after getting to know myself, there’s still this little voice in my head that makes me think they won’t ever be into me as much as I’m into them. It’s this awful, backward defense mechanism I use to protect myself, I think, but instead I just overcompensate and drive people away. So, to anyone who’s been experiencing this side of me, I’m sorry. It’s totally not me, and it’s something I’m continuously working on, but old habits die hard.
– Stephanie
I can’t stop reading. I just want to inhale all the words I can.
I had a spontaneous date tonight. I was feeling a little down about something boy related but this date definitely cheered me up some, and I definitely enjoyed myself!
– Stephanie
My day started with a cute boy in a bar, watching football, and drinking a mimosa. When I got home I opened up the windows, because the weather was basically perfect, finished up my laundry, watched some more football, albeit sad football, and took a nap. I love waking up with the sun on my face…it’s like drinking an instant cup of happy.
– Stephanie
I’m still in a really good mood, and I hope it’s rubbing off on people, because otherwise it would just be annoying. So this guy I went on a date with yesterday, let’s call him…Guy, is kind of awesome, and is making it really hard for me to stop smiling. I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself and just be in the moments, but he’s just so cute and sweet and overall very cool in all ways possible.
So between that huge nugget of happiness, my printmaking class earlier in the week, babysitting Christian (my 2-year-old cousin) all weekend, and the team art project we did this morning, it’s quite possible this is shaping up to be one of the best weeks ever. You go, September!
– Stephanie
Something happened this weekend that I’m thoroughly baffled by.
I was supposed to go on a date Saturday. Everything was planned, the time and place figured out. The guy texted me late afternoon and said, “I want to be honest with you. There is a high probability that I’ll be moving to Montana in January and I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to start something with someone who could be leaving you in a couple of months.” Keep in mind, WE HADN’T EVEN MET YET. I wasn’t feeling it at that point anymore so I gave him some ditsy ass text filled with bullshit about not wanting to set myself up for failure. What I really would have loved to say was, “Thanks for giving me an out. You’ve been coming off as needy and desperate for the past week anyways and I don’t need that. Good luck with your search for love in Montana!” Sometimes I feel like guys are more confusing than girls…maybe.
– Stephanie
This post has a touch more foul language than usual. Proceed with caution…I’m worked up.
If there’s one thing that I really love, it’s handing out a verbal beating. Some people really deserve it, and some just catch me on a bad day. I pride myself in being able to use big words that leave the other person feeling like a moron and unable to provide any kind of response, witty or not. I especially love doing this to guys who think they’re hot shit, when in reality they’re acting like shit on the bottom of a shoe. I hate being talked to like I’m just a hot piece of ass who can be swooned by a single compliment solely based on my looks. Honestly, fuck off. It’s degrading, and makes you come off as a huge douche bag. This tactic probably works on more girls than I’d like believe, but I will verbally assault you until you’re screaming uncle. Thank you internet for offering up sacrifices for me to slaughter.
– Stephanie
P.S. My back is feeling better, and work was actually really fun today!
With summer officially here, and the sun shining in full force, I have a reason to shave my legs. The exact reason is dresses. There are definitely other, possibly more important, reasons, but that’s one of the main ones. I will definitely lament the days of not having to shave for weeks, but all the cute things that come with summer, like dresses and boys, I’ll get over it rather quickly.
– Stephanie
Just now, at age 24, I’m starting to date, which I’ve never had to do before. I hate it.
It’s not that I mind putting myself out there with the possibility of being rejected, because I don’t, but it’s more about not being able to read people and tell if it’s going well. I’ve been on multiple dates with a couple people, that I thought went well, so I waited for a text or call or something that never came. If I like someone, or I think there’s some sort of possibility for something, then I’ll text or call them. I don’t always wait for the other person to communicate, but then I feel stupid for a little bit if I hear nothing back.
That actually doesn’t bother me that much anyway, because there hasn’t been a single person who I was exceptionally upset to not hear from. I’m pretty secure in what a catch I am, and I’m not really searching for a relationship right now, so it’s honestly no big deal. Part of me wishes I could read minds though. If I could, I wouldn’t have to ask a bunch of questions in order to come to the conclusion that this guy doesn’t want the same things, and I’m just wasting my time with some frat-type boy who just wants to get drunk. If he’s really cute, I’ll tolerate it for a bit, and then move on.
But most of all, I hate when guys think I’m naive and will believe everything they’re telling me. Some things aren’t important enough to question, but all I know is that sometimes I get this gut feeling that something is off and when I go with that feeling I’m rarely disappointed. At this point I expect the worst and am pleasantly surprised if it’s anything but horrible. The best part about dating is that I’ve been getting a lot of free meals and drinks. I really don’t know why it’s so hard to find someone that has an amazing job, a good family, a nice body, is caring and appreciative, has morals, passions, and that really, genuinely likes me. That doesn’t seem like a lot to ask for.
– Stephanie
voyeuristic tendencies 